Readers story of their Journey with Breast cancer.

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Managing Cancer with God's Help

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Managing Cancer
With God’s Help

Dona Cowan

As published in the Autumn 2003 issue of
Loma Linda University Medical Center publication SCOPE

I wasn’t crying, but tears slid down out of the outside corners of my eyes. Barely 44, I had just been told I may have cancer.

I have now been a cancer survivor for 12 years, 12 years of the toughest learning of my life and I have a goal to help others find strength when faced with something as “scary” as cancer either for self, family member or friend. Each person reacts in their own way, but hopefully you will know you are not alone, others have faced similar fates. Will it make it any less devastating or scary – NO, but hopefully you can gain courage and strength from others who have been there.

August 1993 I went for my annual mammogram. Three hours later my family doctor called me to say something had shown up on the mammogram and he needed to do a physical exam. Wasting no time, he asked me to be in his office first thing the next morning (Thursday) – even before he was open for regular patients. Following his breast exam, he told me it was abnormal and a biopsy would be necessary. He very kindly advised that it may be cancer.

Cancer? I had nearly no risk of breast cancer. I had no family history, I never tasted meat until I was 18 (and am still mostly vegetarian), I don’t drink alcoholic beverages, never drank coffee, never smoked or did illegal drugs, and had a child before the age of 30, etc.

My husband, Tom, and I went to the appointment with the surgeon the following Tuesday at which time he did an exam, reviewed the mammogram then concurred with our family doctor that a biopsy was necessary and gently but seriously said that if it was benign he would be surprised. We discussed options with him and it was determined that I would have the biopsy on Thursday (2 days later) and if it was malignant, my husband would be advised and they would proceed with a modified radical mastectomy. Yes – it was malignant. During the surgery he also removed 19 lymph nodes all of which turned out cancer-free.

Off to a chemo oncologist; I completed a course of Chemotherapy, did Tamoxifen for 5 years, and then switched to Evista for 3 years. We thought all was clear since I had been doing so well for 8 years.

I was active in assisting other women face cancer (1 in 8 women will get breast cancer). I have been on the Wyoming Coalition for Breast Cancer Committee, a Reach to Recovery member, a participator of the Relay for Life, and Avon Breast Cancer 3-day 60-mile Walk. I wrote to President Clinton to promote mammograms for early detection and preventative measures. One of my dear friends came to me when she found a lump and I advised her to see the doctor. I was at the hospital with her family when the diagnosis delivered was that the lump was malignant. I was doing everything I could to help others facing the same diagnoses I had. Little did I know my learning curve wasn’t finished.

September 2001 I discovered a little lump on the chest wall of my mastectomy side. When it didn’t go away in a few weeks, I went to see my chemo oncologist who examined it and said a biopsy was needed. My surgeon examined the lump, found it suspicious and scheduled a biopsy. The first procedure was to be a bone scan in case of malignancy, as it is preferred prior to surgery.

The lump was removed – a suture that had not dissolved 8 years ago had just worked its way to the surface. However, we were not so fortunate with the bone scan. My surgeon told me about the suture, and then went right on to ask me how my neck was. I said fine. He said any pain. I said sure – most of us have stress pain, achy necks, nothing particularly unusual. Then he told me the bone scan showed an abnormality that may be cancer. He ordered an MRI of my neck.

The MRI did not bring good news - Metastatic breast cancer of the C6 vertebrae!! My list of doctors grew adding my radiation oncologist. He is a wonderful Christian, very thorough, and would not leave any stone unturned. He provided a consultation with my husband and me for over 3 hours and then started extensive testing as he wanted to be absolutely sure of what all we were dealing with. He was very optimistic yet a realist. He advised that I will die of breast cancer, but we should be able to keep it managed for years (many other things can “get” me first!) The two words we never heard were cure and remission. I already had the bone scan and MRI, in the next 7 days we added a C6 Xray Series, a consult with a neurosurgeon to check the stability of my neck, blood tests, CT scan of the abdomen, and finally a biopsy of the C6 vertebrae. Everything confirmed the diagnoses. I was facing another bout against cancer.

We spoke with the radiation oncologist about working with Loma Linda University Medical Center. We were more than happy to do treatment in our hometown of Cheyenne, WY as far as what they had available. But we were unwilling to stop there. We know that catching breast cancer early and prompt aggressive treatment is the only way to keep it managed. We wanted whatever treatment is available. LLUMC has a proton radiation treatment that might be an option. Our radiation oncologist was most willing to work with LLUMC and after speaking with one of their radiation oncologists, indicated I might be a candidate.

We headed for Loma Linda, California where my case and I were examined by a chemotherapy oncologist and a radiation oncologist. The chemotherapy oncologist indicated that chemo was not an option at this time, but that radiation was. Since you can only have so much chemo in a lifetime, we needed to save it for later.

The radiation oncologist said she needed two more tests – a CT of the brain and a CT of the chest. They had to be certain that the cancer had not spread elsewhere. Those reports being normal, confirmed that I was a candidate for proton. The LLUMC doctors developed a treatment plan and worked with my radiation oncologist in Cheyenne where I returned and underwent 22 photon radiation treatments to my C6 vertebrae. I finished photon treatments on a Thursday and then my husband and I headed for Loma Linda, California where I started proton radiation treatments on the following Monday. I completed 34 treatments in 17 days.

What is the difference between photon and proton radiation? In simple words that even I could understand: photon is like a shotgun -- it treats an area, proton is like a rifle – it only treats the mass/tumor sparing normal tissue. Proton provides an increase in the dose of radiation delivered with each treatment and a computer-assisted patient alignment which combines both digital imaging and robotics. We learned about linear accelerators, immobilization devices, apertures and boluses, and other related items. LLUMC has done a wonderful research and implementation of proton treatment for cancer. While more that 60 percent of proton patients have prostate cancer diagnoses for which treatment has an approximate 98 percent cure, they are also able to treat tumors in the head and neck, liver and spinal column, and macular degeneration. More information on proton is available at their web site: http://www.llumc.com/proton

I have regular testing and so far everything looks good. I also do an IV every four weeks of a bone builder drug, Zometa, that has been proven to deter breast cancer in the bones. I have a wonderful chemo nurse who prays with me and for me. My veins delight in hiding, but she always manages to tenderly get my IV’s started. She will come in at all hours to put in a Heparin lock if I need to go elsewhere for testing or treatment. Throughout it all, I have learned to live one day at a time. I know that God is in control. Though He has allowed this, He has made it as easy as possible for us. I never ask “why me”, that takes energy that I need to live life to the fullest. My response to others who ask is “why not me”. First, I would just beat myself up by asking why as it is a question that can’t be answered. Second, why not me as God has a plan for each of us and surely He can use my cancer journey to His benefit.

The most important thing I have found is that you face this head-on and aggressively while remaining positive, optimistic, yet realistic. It can be a real juggling act, but I don’t have time to be “down” or “depressed.” So by God’s grace, I use all my energy to live life to its fullest while sharing and encouraging others.

I had no knowledge of breast cancer when I was first diagnosed. When I talk with friends, they are interested in the facts and I share with them. They too may someday likely be faced with breast cancer for either themselves, a family member or a close friend. My goal is to help inform and educate all those, based on my personal experience, who are interested in better preparing themselves for this very real ordeal they may have to face in the future.

With my last diagnoses, I was forced to really look at myself, my journey through life, and my beliefs. I am doing well for now. I may not like my odds or God’s time frame but I must accept them, as He is in control. God still has something for me to do for Him or I would not be here -- I surely don’t want to let Him down. More than anything, I have realized that God doesn’t make mistakes. Cancer taught me to have full trust in Him.

There have been some blatant facts that showed us how God was with us even before we knew it would be necessary and after.

1. In 1993 I was working at the local hospital. As supervisor of the MIS department, I was always on call 365 days a year 24 hours a day. It involved a tremendous amount of stress and time. I would have several phone calls during the night which prevented a good night sleep. Many times I had to get up and go into the hospital during the night. In March 1993, the two hospitals in town merged which allowed us to create a new position in our department. I was given the opportunity and accepted this new position which meant basically no more on call, fewer night calls, very little overtime, and virtually no weekends. Had I stayed in my original position, it would have been very difficult for me to keep the position after my diagnoses of breast cancer.

2. In May 1993 my husband, worried about our well being, said he thought he should get some disability insurance on himself and that he should put me on his medical insurance (it was open enrollment time,) so if I should quit my current job, we wouldn’t have to worry about my medical coverage. I had said fine, whatever you think is best. He added me to his medical coverage totally unaware of my impending diagnosis; it became effective August 1, 1993. My mammogram was August 19, 1993. God’s timing was wonderful!

3. Still in 1993, as I worked for the local hospital, I was greeted one day by my family doctor who is also a personal friend. After greeting me with a hug and visiting for a moment, I told him I also needed to get in for my annual check up. He said, “Make sure you call the office and schedule your appointment.” I said I would, while thinking later. When he returned to his office that day he had his office staff call me to schedule the appointment, mammogram and blood work. A small detail that lead to finding my cancer before it was to late.

4. The surgeon really expected the lymph nodes removed in surgery to be positive as the total mass was nearly 1½ inches in diameter, yet they were clear and was so excited when he received the results that he called me in my hospital room from his cell phone to give me the good news rather than waiting until he made his hospital rounds.

5. A suture had not dissolved in 8 years allowing early detection of the current cancer!

6. The radiation oncologist was able to get the mass of tests completed with results in his hands in record time.

7. Rarely is a breast cancer patient a candidate for proton radiation.

8. Getting an appointment quickly at LLUMC is very difficult, yet expedited for me.

9. I had changed jobs about 5 years ago and now work for the Department of Technology of our local school district. Our department is very close knit and family oriented. My co-workers rallied around and not only covered for my workload, but provided me with additional sick time to cover any time I would need. I never lost or had a short paycheck. They also took a collection and gave me cash to help defray travel expenses when they learned I was going to California to research additional care.

10. Family and friends have come “out of the woodwork” to help and pray. While in the hospital for the mastectomy, my good friend Diana kept me laughing and came up every morning to fix my hair. My friends at the hospital sent my meals up on china and always had a fresh flower on my tray. Trivial items – yes, but so important when going through something so scary. My parents, retired, were able to close up their home in Oregon and spend months with us running the house so I could complete my chemo treatments, work, and recover without that added stress. My lifelong friend, Carol, opens up her home to us anytime we need to go to California for additional medical care. Plus she was able to stay with me at the motel and went to every proton treatment with me as it was to far to commute on a daily bases from her home. This enabled my husband to return to Cheyenne to work for most of that treatment time. My other long-term friend, Helen, would send me little “surprise” packages from care angels to videos of her girls “performing” for me to help keep me boosted up. Most of all, my husband has been absolutely wonderful and without him I would have found this most difficult to work through. He has been at nearly every appointment, nearly every treatment, etc. with me. If he can’t be there, he makes sure someone is with me so I don’t have to face all this alone (of course God is there!). He has been with me round the clock during hospital stays.

These events have been no coincidence; we know God was looking after us. When I look back over these events and others I am sure I have missed, it is difficult to doubt God and His mercy.

These answers did not come easy.
I am just so thankful because through this experience I have learned to have full trust in God almighty, and this gives me a peace that allows me to deal with every kind of situation I face. I want to help other people to learn how to place complete trust in our Lord, and receive that peace that passes all understanding. I have learned that only then, can a person really enjoy life. I am so thankful that I have a personal relationship with my Creator, and I cannot understand how someone endures these kinds of experiences without Him to lean on. I can only praise God and thank Him for the many friends who have supported me. I know God put them into my life. Thank you, Lord!

I thank you for allowing me to take your time to read this, and I pray that it will help someone to know that you are never to give up without trusting the Lord to strengthen you so you can endure. He tells us in the third chapter of Revelations that he who overcomes all the trials that come, will be saved and honored in the kingdom. You can't do it without Him, but with Him, you can do all things. Since none of us knows the details of our future, I encourage you to be sure that you a right relationship with your Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.